That Missing Piece

That feeling, that indescribable emotion, has been bugging me for as long as I can remember and it won't go away. A longing would be the best way to describe it.

But here's the thing- I don't know exactly what I'm longing for.

Confusing, I know, and whenever you have this conflict inside your head, the stress is magnified even further.  It feels like some part of my life is missing. Try to imagine my entire entity as a jigsaw puzzle. It's mess right now with everything I'm going through, but I'm missing pieces I need to complete it and see the whole picture.

No, I don't think it's got anything to do with the life I left behind in North Carolina; this feeling, this longing has been bothering me WAY before moving had become a problem in my life. I just really wish I knew where that missing piece is, or what it is. No, I don't have to pull the pieces together now- that would ruin the  process of life, where I could sit back in the end of it and laugh at how the pieces all fit together and I never even saw it. I don't wanna know now: I just want an idea, a big picture if you will.

Is that missing piece the key to everything? And what is "everything"? What would the big picture look like if I find this piece? I got a couple of ideas of what it could be though...

If I had to bet, I'd say that it'd be a person. Someone who comes into my life and changes everything. It sounds so selfish if I say that it's a girl, but if I'm right, she'll be what I've been looking for, what I'm writing about, at this very moment.

I don't really think that it would be a religious piece that I'm missing. I feel as spiritually sound as a Catholic- not perfect, but sound. My religion is such a big part of my life- it is my life- and I'd be really surprised if that last jigsaw piece is a huge epiphany about my faith because I think this missing piece is something I never had. You never know though, the one thing the big man upstairs has showed me repeatedly is that He's always got a trick up His sleeve.

Thinking more about it just puts my brain into a bigger knot than what it originally was, and it's a waste of time because thinking more about it won't actually do anything. That last puzzle piece will come, and I will solve it. What'd I'd do just to know...

I guess there's only one way to find out.