Well I haven't posted in a while, and I apologize to you, my very small audience. I've told you about my move across the country and how strongly I felt against it, and now as I'm typing this, I'm glad I was wrong. Everything's looking up for me here, and I'm just glad I can finally see some light again. So much darkness, so much uncertainty and desolation has surrounded my life the past few months and I didn't know how long I could keep carrying that burden.
My first few months here was the toughest of my short 17 year-old life. I feel so terrible complaining about moving to a bigger city when people out in the world are suffering, but I literally lost everything, my friends were simply irreplaceable and losing them felt like losing a part of myself. It was ridiculous how low I had gotten, those of you who know me would've never recognized me. But it wasn't just how I looked- my entire subconscious couldn't let go. I just couldn't find peace, and my whole life was thrown into chaos. I had so many sleepless night because I would dream of seeing them again, to smile with them, to laugh with them, to give them the hug I never gave when I left...
It sounds so pathetic I know, a 17 year-old kid complaining about moving to California, destined to do bigger and better things, but that's not what it felt like when I got here. It felt like I lost my entire world. A world I created with my bare hands, that I depended on more than anything else, I lost in the blink of an eye. One plane ride and I was taken from my world 2,517 miles away.
Yeah, it's a sad story but its a huge weight off my shoulder to say that all that's behind me. Showtime saved my life, believe it or not. For those of you who don't know, Showtime is a show choir you audition for in the high school I'm attending right now, and I don't know how I'd still be functional without them. We are such a close-knit family and I'd have fallen apart already if it wasn't for them. They were the friends I needed, and I have no right to complain. I can't help but smile right now- when I was about to fall apart, they took my pieces and put me back together, and they don't even know it. When I carried the world on my shoulder and I didn't know how much I had left in my tank, they shouldered my load, and they'll never know how grateful I am that they saved my life. They have no idea how much they have already done for me just by being there when I needed them, by loving me even though I was just a stranger who could sing with them.
Now I'm ready to rebuild. The great friends I lost, I'll restore, even though they never left. Friends that close to my heart could never completely leave me, and even switching coasts certainly won't change that. Yeah it sucks that I can't share moments with them like I have for half my life, but they'll always be a part of me that I'll never lose. Moving has given me the opportunity to share this strong friendship, my love and simply my character with people across the country. It extended my circle of friends coast to coast, and only now do I see that as a blessing. This is my senior year, and with all the will in my soul I'll make it a memorable one, with the greatest friends by my side and a heart full of hope.
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